Loyalty

I do not know you
The stories we share are few
Our lives will go their separate ways
Whether it be in years, months, or days
Still I try my hardest to please
As you pass by as the breeze

I still do not know you
How the time flew
We could talk all day long
We could dance to a song
Yet time will not wait
Our parting is fate

I will never really know you
And you think I should get a clue
As I strive to make you smile
When I know we only have a while
You think I'm digging myself a pit
I think that you are worth it

Although I can never truly know you
There is something within my view
I see a soul pure, good, and strong
Full of kindness trying to right the wrong
To this I know my loyalty lies
To the joy of the one behind those eyes

So even though I'll never know you
I know that to you I'll be true
Your heart is precious to me
So let me serve you is my plea

The Final Tests

Its time to rise and fight

To take on this evil blight

The beasts we face this day

Would fill our hearts with dismay

A test of strength and wisdom

Keeps us from our freedom

A test of knowledge and skills

Our hearts with terror fills

Let us fight and be strong men

Let us meet the beasts in their den

Slay the creatures without fashion

Know and feel the satisfaction

As we parry and block the blows

We must continue to smite our foes

Let not the tests daunt your hearts

Be weary of those evil darts

Rise up just this last time

Tread through this dirty grime

So that you can soon take your flight

And be home for Christmas night

Father can I cry yet?

O dear father I try so very hard
To know thy will and follow through
All day and all night
Seek thy will to do

I know I am so very flawed and weak
I struggle with my every task
and rarely succeed
to do what thou asked

Yet, still I try to be a joy to all
Trying my best to serve others
Help all in my path
Treating all as brothers

I find my every pathway blocked by thee
Even as I'm told to go on
Through my sweat and blood
Till my strength is gone

I am left so very weak with nothing left
With no hope of relief in sight
Beaten to the ground
Looking for some light

I know I will not falter in my step
I know thou wilt help me onward
I just ask of thee
One thing dear Lord

Through all this pain, Father can I cry yet?
I am tired of always being strong
My heart is tired
Of always being wrong.

Thou hast always blessed me immeasurably
Given me gifts I haven't earned
Strength beyond my own
Knowledge I haven't learned

Yet as my body falls apart inside
I tremble with pain and tiredness
Wondering whats next
In my loneliness

I know not how but that I will manage
To rise and fight another day
I just wish I could cry
Release the tears at bay

I know the way will always be hard
I did not want it otherwise
I just seek some peace
Before the sunrise

I apologize

I'm sorry I haven't written anything new recently but between lack of sleep and school, I can't focus enough to write a poem. Nor do I see that changing in the very near future. Maybe next week or the week after will be better.

A Song
A song can pass all cares away
Turn darkest night to golden day,
A song can transport you and me
To any place we long to be.
A song can melt a lover's heart
And tend'rest feelings thus impart.
For music is the great God's tool
Which blesses noble, wise, and fool.

The poor and rich can sing a song.
The weak and strong can hum along.
For tunes bespeak the lover's mood
Far dearer than a feast of food.
Those who mourn find precious peace
From hymns which help our faith increase.
For song and hymn from heaven flow
To bless the lives of all below.
-Vaughn J. Featherstone

The Dawning of a New Day

Through the night we are filled with fright
And the air is cold and uncertain.
The Day we knew is dead, filling us with dread
That Day's fate may become our own

If we endure the night without the light
We find hope with dawn
A new Day will be born, not at all worn
From the trials of yesterday

It will brighten the sky and defeat the lie
That the night had brought
Life will be set right, life will be bright
All the better after the night.

The Daylight Ends

The Daylight Ends

When the sun rises we find our hearts filled with joy

Every moment filled with life and color

We could be there endlessly

Just talking and laughing endlessly

As the day passes, the heat drives us away

We seek the shelter of our homes

We find we rarely laugh

The stress makes it hard to laugh

Then comes the setting sun, beautiful and bright

Full of promises and hopes for tomorrow

Yet it is the end of today

So ends the life and love of today

Night settles in and the moon and stars shine

They are beautiful, promising, but distant

So we grow cold in the dark

So we are separated by the dark

Another Favorite

Here is a good one. Good for upcoming general conference. Good for Sunday. Good because I sorta feel this way at the moment.

Gethsemane

In golden youth when seems the earth
A Summer-land of singing mirth,

When souls are glad and hearts are light,

And not a shadow lurks in sight,

We do not know it, but there lies

Somewhere veiled under evening skies

A garden which we all must see --

The garden of Gethsemane.

With joyous steps we go our ways,

Love lends a halo to our days;

Light sorrows sail like clouds afar,

We laugh and say how strong we are.

We hurry on; and hurrying, go

Close to the border-land of woe,

That waits for you, and waits for me --

Forever waits Gethsemane.

Down shadowy lanes, across strange streams,
Bridged over by our broken dreams;

Behind the misty caps of years,

Beyond the great salt fount of tears,

The garden lies. Strive as you may,

You cannot miss it in your way.

All paths that have been, or shall be,

Pass somewhere through Gethsemane.

All those who journey, soon or late,
Must pass within the garden's gate;

Must kneel alone in darkness there,

And battle with some fierce despair.

God pity those who cannot say,

Not mine but thine, who only pray,

Let this cup pass, and cannot see

The purpose in Gethsemane.
-Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Beautiful Morning

Beautiful Morning


Its time to wake up and see
The world is dark for now
With only star and faded tree

Yet a few hours hence
The dark will fade
And the night will be less dense

If you're awake you can see
The way the light creeps
And color changes like the sea

First a purple then a blue
Next comes orange and red
Colors come of every hue

If you still need more reasons
The air is also clean and crisp
Changing with the seasons

So come with me and arise
Enjoy the morning
And feast with your eyes

A thought

So I think hard about who I am often. Trying to decide why I do what I do. Sometimes I feel it important others know who I am as well.

An Honest Man
As I go through this life
I seek always to be true
True to myself, even in strife
Giving merit to others where due

How did this happen? One might ask
A man honest day and night
Even when he failed his task
He still will say whats right

It came through much sorrow and grief
A story filled with lies and deceit
Where he could find little relief
From betrayal and defeat

So he made a promise in his heart
To never cause another pain
With lies that pierce like a dart
Leaving souls down with the slain

A price he paid for his ways
Being honest brings more agony and fear
As he lives out his days
Never knowing who he can hold dear

Still the knowledge that another won't suffer
Brings joy enough for me to bear
I will gladly take the path that's tougher
To prevent another's tear

Time

It is said that time heals all wounds
That days and months cure the worst of cuts
Yet somethings I feel shouldn't die
Still there are things I know I want to feel

There are moments of heartache that weigh too much
There are sorrows beyond our strength to bear
These fears and griefs shouldn't be remembered
These terrors and pains are best forgot

Sadly sometimes memories of great joy and love are lost
Forgotten are the feelings that came from the experience
Faded like the mists of the morning, hardly even a memory
Shadows of the memories that once were and never again will be
Never again will be

What is this cure of both good and evil?
What can fix the bad and end the good?
Time is the medicine to cure all
Time is the weapon of choice

If you want something to die and be forgot
If you never want to see it and leave it lost
Then give it none of your time and thought
Don't spend a second of your life or mind with it

If you want something to live and prosper
If you want it to grow and be strong
Time is needed to keep things going
Time is needed to keep things fresh

For both good and evil time is used
A tool for both joy and sorrow
It can push those we love further from us

It can bring those we love closer to us

Things that I see.

Things that I see
There are things I know
and I don't know why.
As I struggle to understand,
the reasons just fly.
I know some things are
because they just are.
I know some things will be,
like the nighttime star.

There are things I see

and I don't know how.

Although, I find the truth

makes knowledge bow.

I see some things as clear as day

when others can not.

I see some things hidden in the dark,

oft times long forgot.

I know and see,

that which I should not.

Things that I did not seek,

things I had not bought.

If only you could see the things that I see,

then you too would understand

Why I struggle so hard with the secrets,

and seek a supporting hand.

Silence

Silence

I don't know what to say.

Funny as it may sound.

Some times I talk all day,

But as we continue our walk,

Same as we always do,

I find nothing of which to talk.

So we continue without a word.

Without much to say.

The only noise being the distant bird.

But it doesn't matter much to me,

or to you either,

Because we're together, you see.

A Prayer to Live By

So I'm not feeling much in the way for writing a poem at the moment. So here is another favorite that has had a big impact on me since I first read it.

My Life Shall Touch

My life shall touch a dozen lives

Ere sets the sinking sun

Make countless marks for good or ill

Before the day is done.

This is the thought I always think

The prayer I always pray,

Lord may my life bless other lives

It touches by the way.

-Unknown

Circles

Circles

Round and round my thoughts fly
Am I doomed to live or to die
Not a mortal life or death
But emotions that catch the breath
Feelings as strong as life
Sorrows full of strife

Again and again my words race
As I try hard to hide my face
I don't want to show my fears
You should never see my tears
I do not understand
Why you took my hand

Time after time I show my pride
I wish it weren't such an ugly side
Filled with selfishness and greed
I search for some great deed
So that I can look at you, unashamed
So that I can be with you, unashamed

Decisions

Decisions

It comes again and again

The time to choose

To take the path left or the path right

Like a maze you can't win or lose

The answer always out of sight

The choices go round and round

What is the best?

Should I do this or should I do that?

Is it just a choice, or a test?

Is there even an answer?

So we sit at the crossroads of time

Missing our chance

To enjoy the test and maze of life

To learn to sing and learn to dance

All choices bring joy and strife

At the End of the Day

At the End of the Day

At the end of the day
When the world comes to a close
What is there left to say?
Will you claim life is a  rose?

Sadly it could not last
Full of lots of plots and schemes
The day went by so fast

Did you fulfill all your dreams?

As the clock ticks zero

And you look back on your youth
Were you the great hero?
Full of honor and truth?

If not, then time has come
To awaken with the sun
And beat the mighty drum
Because now its time to run

Writer's Block

Well, I  haven't forgotten about my blog but I just can't seem to feel a decent poem of late. I guess it could be writer's block, a few of my English teachers over the years have commented on how I get it. It might also just be that I feel . . . content. With school on break I don't feel the stress and emotional pulls that need to be released and expressed. Things aren't spectacular, far from it actually but I don't seem to feel as driven any more. Anyways. I am working on a poem but its hard coming, so until then. here is another favorite of mine.

I'm Glad I touched Shoulders with You


There's a comforting thought at the close of the day
When I'm weary and lonely and sad.
That sort of grips hold of my crusty old heart
And bids it be merry and glad.
It gets in my soul and it drives out the blues,
And finally thrills through and through
It is just a sweet memory that chants the refrain:
"I'm glad I touched shoulders with you!"

Did you know you were brave, did you know you were strong?
Did you know there was one leaning hard?
Did you know that I waited and listened and prayed?
And was cheered by your simplest word?
Did you know that I longed for the smile on your face,
For the sound of your voice ringing true?
Did you know that I grew stronger and better because
"I had merely touched shoulders with you?"

I'm glad that I live, that I battle and strive
For a place that I know I must fill;
I am thankful for sorrows. I'll meet with a grin
What fortunes may send, good or ill,
I may not have wealth, I may not be great,
But I know I shall always be true.
For I have in my life that courage you gave
When once "I touched shoulders with you!"
-Unknown

My Dream

So I admit I'm something of a romantic. Of course I write poetry so thats no surprise but still, most people who know me wouldn't think I was capable. As it is though I have one dream of the perfect moment for me and I'm going to see if I can express it somewhat as a poem.

Perfect
I have a dream of a time and place
Where everything is green and blooming
Where time has left no trace
Without duty looming

The mountains reach to touch the sky
The deep blue waves move with the wind
Birds singing as they fly
Trees rustle as they bend

The cottage in the forest green
A blanket picnic by its side
Creates a quiet seen
As it tries hard to hide

Merrily the couple arrives
No one to dampen their mood
Oh what a sweet surprise
Was the date and the food

Quietly they eat and talk
Just the two of them together
Then they go for a walk
Hearts light as a feather

A memory never to be forgot
Of a simple time with their love
A memory always to be sought
For a simple time with their love

Old Friends

Scriptures


At times I forget and I don't see you
I love your words and I know they're true
As the days go by, I put you by the side
I said I'd read you today but I lied

The weeks pass and I want to read you
Yet when I look, you're a stranger to view
I stare with longing but I'm filled with fear
My hands are too big and I feel a tear

How I long to just read and to touch
I miss what I know I love so much
But a voice whispers it can't be the same
It whispers that things will feel dull and lame

It feels like we're old friends years separated
I can't be sure whether I'm loved or hated
The memories of the past are stronger
I find I can not resist any longer

My swollen hands pick you up carefully
My hands shake and tremble fearfully
Clumsily I ruffle through your pages
Once again I travel through the ages

My hands find a strength I thought I lost
My fears melt away like morning frost
Inside I find a hunger to read more
How could I ever think this was a chore?

How good it feels to be with my friend
I wish our time together would't end
As I read aloud I realize with a start
My friend and I must never really part

The more I read
The more I'm me

Its only words

We talk all the time
We walk to the rhyme
Yet in the end nothing is said
So in the end we go to bed
After all its only words

With nothing changed and nothing made
Our hopes are high and our fears fade
We talk of what was and is to be
With only talk we can remain free
After all its only words

We don't feel bound
Our reasoning is sound
But something changes in the air
We find that we start to care
Is it only words?

The promises we made we wish to keep
The time we spend is so very sweet
Your opinion has become so very dear
It's only when we're apart we begin to fear
Is it only words?

The time comes and goes
Life is and trouble blows
We forgot what once we had
All that is left is so very sad
Its only words

Words can change the earth
Bring sadness or  bring mirth
They can bring love and life
They can bring trouble and strife
Its never only words.

Dreams

Dreams to dream. In the dark of the night. When the world goes wrong, I can still make it right.
                       -Dreams to Dream, An American Tale: Fievel goes West

Dreams to Change

In the morning light the world is clear as day
A mass of problems that need to go away
The stress of life is never ending
The solutions are ever pending

When everything starts to spin out of control
The time has come for a little stroll
To dream of times without trouble
A world fragile like a bubble

At first it is weak, no more than a hope
As we strive it becomes a saving rope
With it we hold our heads high
With it we reach for the sky

What we created in a world of dreams
Has created a reality that beams
Not a world that is full of strife
But a world that is full of life

The truth at first was no more than a thought
Yet it was for this dream that we had fought
A person noble in the least
Who has slain his mighty beast

It started no more than a dream to be dreamed
A hope so weak and impossible, or so it seemed
But through a bitter fight
It can still be made right

To be an American

Ok. Since that last post I have been haunted by that question. What does it mean to be an American? Why am I proud to be an American? Its nothing so simple as "I'm free" or people are equal. Same is true with lots of countries. After a long thought I have decided. To be an American means I trust and help others, including strangers. It means that I can take the higher road and know you will not take advantage of me and maybe even support me. Thats what it means to be American. I feel though that we as a country have lost our identity. People fear each other and are becoming increasingly introverted. In political and economic classes the discussion is on how to withdraw from the world since we can't continue taking care of everyone. Its on how to stop spending abroad on aid and to start concentrating on helping ourselves first.
   When the truth is we can still help others abroad and we shouldn't concentrate on fixing ourselves. Japan tried this, we tried this before, and Europe is now. It doesn't work. We  need to as a people rediscover who we are and help each other. If we did than there would never have been need to discuss a healthcare bill. If we did than brilliant people would want to be part of us and would stimulate our economy. Maybe even foreign countries return the favors we have given them so that we can pursue our efforts to help others. What does it mean to be American? It means we sacrifice so someone else can be better. If we lose this we lose ourselves. "Give us your sick and weary" was the principle we were built on. Perhaps we can't take them in anymore but we can still help them.
  If only there was a way to get this idea out and help restore our identity to everyone.

The Rise and Fall of Empires

 So I'm going to break from my poetry to talk about something important to me. Politics. I'm reading a book about hyper powers and what helped them successfully rule so much land and to dominate the world of their time. Currently just finished with Persia and Rome. The book spends alot on how tolerance to other nation's ways of life was key but that not what caught my attention. What caught my attention was the "glue" as the author puts it. What made them powerful and hold together was bringing in fresh minds and abilities from other cultures but what made Rome last longer still than Persia was that those fresh minds came willingly to Rome, wanting to be Roman. I'm really not explaining that well but maybe the idea will become clearer.
   This sticks with me because today the United States is reaching a point where it is feeling stretched and other nations are rising to compete with it. The simple reason is because the geniuses of those lands are staying there or coming here and then leaving. Even normal people jump the border and take advantage of the culture without identifying with it. Without seeing reason to want to identify with it or want to be American. With this being the case, we are stagnating. So I must ask the question. What can we do to encourage people to want to be American, not just live here but be a part of a greater identity? The Romans gave special privileges for gaining citizenship. What can we offer? I think until we can create a new attraction and glue to the idea of America that brings people to us, we will continue to stagnate. Excluding people (like immigrants) is a problem but so is letting others take without contributing (like illegal immigrants).
  Going off of that I think its been a along time since people have really understood what the idea of America is. It used to be "bring us your sick and weary" and then "anyone can rise from below". Neither of those really apply anymore. Some people try to associated being American with the culture we have established, the middle class, the spending, and the history. If this is the case then we have little hope of others wanting to join is. What does it mean for something to be American or un-American? Perhaps its time we all sat back and tried to find out.

Sleepless Night

Come and explore the dark night with me

Come and let us see what we can see

The moon shines its cool comforting light

The wind whispers softly with its flight

The hue of the sky has a depth untold

And the air  is crisp, clear, and cold

Few there are that venture the street

Such moments are so very sweet

No-one  to break our reverie

No-one to keep us from being free

Free to speak as we feel we must

Free to speak with those we trust

The night stands still as we linger on

Time has no meaning until the dawn

The trees whisper their stories as we listen

And watch the water dance and glisten

With you in the shadow I find a place

Where I no longer hide my face

A place of darkness where I cannot hide

All the feelings that I feel inside

In the night I find I can share who I am

The shadows break and remove a dam

So at night when you see what I see

You also get the chance to see the real me.

A Bright Winter Morning

A Bright Winter Morning

The air is cold and I feel the wind blow
The path is ice and the world is snow
Yet there is a ray of light in my mind
As I seek the sweet noises to find
The birds above me twittering
The birds around me dithering

All around they fly to and fro with ease
Their song takes the chill off the breeze
They create a flurry of life and motion
And fill the world with light and emotion
The birds make the world seem bright
The birds make the world seem right

Walking

Walking

There are times I just want to walk

To be free, to breath, and to talk

At these times I wish someone was here

Someone to wipe away my tear

I want someone to walk with me

To smell the flower and tree

A kind voice in the dark

To help take away life's bark

There are times I long just to walk

To share my thoughts and to talk

How I need someone here with me

Someone who can see what I see

I want someone walking at my side

To listen to the birds that hide

A sweet thought in the night

To make everything feel right

There are times I go for a walk

Wanting nothing more than to talk

But there is no-one here this day

No-one to hear what I say

I look and no-one find

To share word and mind

Just the empty street

Oh how bittersweet

My Favorite Poem

Will You Be My Friend

Will you be my friend?
There are so many reasons why you never should:
I’m sometimes sullen, often shy, acutely sensitive,
My fear erupts as anger, I find it hard to give,
I talk about myself when I’m afraid
And often spend a day without anything to say.

But I will make you laugh
And love you quite a bit
And hold you when you’re sad.

I cry a little almost every day
Because I’m more caring than the strangers ever know,
And, if at times, I show my tender side
(The soft and warmer part I hide)
I wonder, 

Will you be my friend?

A friend 

Who far beyond the feebleness of any vow or tie

Will touch the secret place where I am really I,
To know the pain of lips that plead and eyes that weep,
Who will not run away when you find me in the street
Alone and lying mangled by my quota of defeats
But will stop and stay-to tell me of another day
When I was beautiful.

Will you be my friend?

There are so many reasons why you never should:
Often I’m too serious, seldom predictably the same,
Sometimes cold and distant, probably I’ll always change.
I bluster and brag, seek attention like a child,
I brood and pout, my anger can be wild,
But I will make you laugh and love you quite a bit
And be near you when you’re afraid.

I shake a little almost every day

Because I’m more frightened than the strangers ever know
And if at times I show my trembling side
(The anxious, fearful part I hide)
I wonder, 

Will you be my friend?

A friend

Who, when I feel your closeness, feels me push away

And stubbornly will stay to share what’s left on such a day,
Who, when no one knows my name or calls me on the phone,
When there’s no concern for me – what I have or haven’t done-
And those I’ve helped and counted on have oh, so deftly, run,
Who, when there’s nothing left but me, stripped of charm and
Subtlety, will nonetheless remain.

Will you be my friend?

For no reason that I know

Except I want you so.

                     -James Kavanaugh

                  

Poem Time

I was looking through old files and I found this poem I wrote awhile back. 

Eyes

There is a beauty that inner lies

One that can only be seen in the eyes

Only those who have the gift to see

Could ever hope to understand me

Some eyes are bright and shine with hope

Which betimes is a saving rope

Others have endless glee

How I wish it were a part of me!

Long I searched for the source

Often it brought much remorse

Until after one hard day

I found I had only to pray

At times I did not understand

How I would live in that land

I walked another lonely mile

Till a voice whispered "just smile"

Long and hard I thought

Oh what peace the smile brought

To look in the mirror again and see

The light was finally in me

Now the hope and glee within me lies

Whenever I look at my eyes

To see it in another just magnifies

The joy of what lies behind the eyes

At times I hear the harmony

as I feel you near me

Such sweet song cannot be sung

nor explained with any toungue

Forgive me of my boldness

but I hope you can not miss

the reason of such trying

and often of much crying

I hope you understand how I feel

When I see a truth so real

The Art of Words

     I have found there are times when it is necessary to just stop and think. The idea of doing anything is to overwhelming and the mind is going so fast that it is impossible to concentrate. So I try to think and after sitting and thinking for fifteen minutes or so the question arises, What am I thinking about? The answer is nothing. How can this be? The answer is focus. Too many thoughts have left me unable to focus on any one. So it isthat I turn to writing as a way to channel the thoughts. How this helps I do not understand. All I know is that I feel calm where there was chaos, I feel relaxed where there was energy, and I feel peace where there had been confusion.
   Yes, it is true that the writing has nothing to do with the confusion and yet it still helps. Somehow writing is my art. It is where I channel my emotions. This is terribly ironic seeing as I hate writing and am not terribly good at it. I find that does not matter here though. Here in this world of blogs where I make the rules and am not forced to write the styles and words expected by professors and society. I am the ruler of this realm and I will bend it to my will as it pleases me. Words are my paint, they are my music. I will create my art through them and they will in turn help me find myself.