Stop the Demonizing
Ok, so this has been something I have wanted to really really talk about for a long time with my friends but have had trouble doing it because it is such an emotional and explosive topic: Party Politics. I warn you, if you keep reading I likely will offend you with my bluntness, but that doesn't make my message less true (even if you can find faults with the specific content).
In particular I want to talk about the way we see and treat each other. Over the last year I have as a Republican been accused of being heartless, a hypocrite, a chauvinist, a racist, a bigot, an idiot, stupid, unchristian, and pretty much every accusation you could ever make under the face of the sun. I have seen many Republican friends accuse Democrats of the same things. Now as much as this is a terrible thing: its politics, its media, its crazy people taking advantage of other crazy people.
The problem is how many of my smart, intelligent, and educated friends I see not only saying these things but actually believing them. Some of these friends were members of the other party not long ago and yet suddenly believe the craziest accusations against their former party. The crime and danger here is that once you actually believe the other side is stupid, you start assuming their every action is stupid. Lets stop and be honest. 47% of the nation is democrat and 47% republican. Do you really think that many people are off their rocker? Yes some of their leaders may say crazy things but that doesn't make everything any one of them says stupid. Actually, the only reason the leaders can get away saying crazy things is because we have allowed ourselves to demonize each other so completely that we actually believe what they say or at best feel what they say is better than the opposition.
I mean really, does any one actually think 47% of Americans would support stripping women's rights? No, but I know democrats who will never support anything a republican says because they think Republicans do. Does anyone honestly think 47% of people want the American Government to colapse? No, but I know some Republicans who will never support a democrat for fear of it. Worst as I said before, these are not crazies believing this stuff. These are very educated people many of whom I call friends. So why do they believe it? Why do YOU believe the terrible things about the other side that you do?
I think it is in part because we are so busy defending ourselves we don't stop to empathize with the other side. We don't stop and actually think. I believe another part of it is because there is so much politicking and maneuvering happening designed to deceive us. Are you aware that some bills are proposed that are not meant to pass? They are meant to create a media out cry; To force the other side to say no to something but claim they said no to something else in the bill; They are meant to show the other side the limits of their power; or even just so a feel can be gathered about who supports who and where the swing votes are. Once we are confused and on the defensive, the media then comes in and persuades us like sheep that these leaders are terrible people and everyone who supports them too. Even in politics everyone is just doing the best they can with the limited knowledge they have: presidents, congress, and voters. They aren't trying to rob you, or to destroy the country, and they couldn't get where they are without being fairly smart. If they are doing the best they can then maybe they might have legitimate reason for what they do? Maybe we might have something we can learn from them or do better by paying attention?
No one wants to think about it though and so we demonize each other and vote for representatives who also see the other side as nothing but raving lunatics foaming at the mouth. Is it any wonder there has been so much deadlock? (Democrats you keep screaming the Tea Party is what's done this but that very accusation puts you in the same boat). So now we are stuck seeing red all around and I actually find someone asking me "Wait you are a republican of your own choice?" Really? I find everywhere I turn, the ways we try to persuade each other is through shamming each other, peer-pressuring each other, fast talking each other into confusion, or just plain talking over each other.
I understand the media doing this. I understand this in propaganda. I understand people promoting it on Facebook. I do not understand this in my friends when I see them in person, not because they are my friends but they are educated and they should know better. Yet I still see this and not from only a few. These are the methods of mob rule and result only in bad decisions being made. This is how we end up in situations where democrats are calling republicans unchristian and hypocrites for being afraid to let refugees in and Republicans calling democrats stupid for trying to let terrorists in. Can no one see that these views are not directly opposite? Some people in congress did, but when republicans agreed to let refugees in so long as they were screened the democrats turned them down. Maybe the democrats had a good reason but instead of offering alternate ways to meet the republicans' desire for security the democrats condemn them for not letting through all refugees unconditionally. So we keep shouting insults at each other refusing to see the needs of almost every 2nd person in the country. This can also be applied to the healthcare bill: Republicans "it won't work", Democrats "people shouldn't suffer"; Gun control: Democrats "we need to stop mass killings", Republicans "Guns are our rights"; and plenty more that favor blindness from each side (note these are not the specific arguments but the motives of the arguments). Now there are some arguments that come to a moral line that can't be crossed, but even then more often than not we are hitting each other head on and demanding compromises of 50/50 where there can be none instead of looking for alternate solutions.
Granted most of these issues are being handled way above the ability for most of us to affect in the short run. So why does this matter to us? Because the way we treat each other and how we are seen to approach the issues determines how friends, colleagues, and children will treat issues. It will determine how they view the other side. It will determine who they vote for and who is willing to run for office. If we stop demonizing each other on the personal level - and even on Facebook - and start showing we value each others opinion, even when we disagree (remember 47% of people agree with the person you disagree with) then we can hope for politics to make a change for the better. However, even treating each other with respect won't be enough if we let ourselves believe those who are demonizing the other side and letting that influencing our voting and debates. We each need to stand where we are and try to understand the real reason why people say what they say and stop believing the propaganda we see floating around.
(End Note: I am not suggesting either party is right or better than the other. Nor am I suggesting that one party should roll over whenever the other has an idea. Both parties are fundamentally different philosophies and I will fight tooth and nail to make sure my republican view is understood and would hope any democrat would do the same in turn. However, being different and disagreeing doesn't mean we can't understand each other.)